Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
