You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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