party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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