Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
