They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
