I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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