That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Randomize
