Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
