I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
