ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
