I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Randomize
