They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
