ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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