Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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