I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
How does it feel to date your dad?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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