How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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