Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
