So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
