I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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