We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize