I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
