Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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