Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
