I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
