I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
