just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
