I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
