Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize