In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
