They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
