They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
