If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
