weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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