we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
And then he peed in my hair
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