This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize