At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
