Tell her she can't have a vagina
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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