btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
