Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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