your parents love me but you hate me
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
