It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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