i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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