Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
