my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
