she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
