ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
