Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
I did not marry a roomba.
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