and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Are we still banned from the library?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
