found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
