Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
