He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize