take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
