I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize