I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
