For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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