she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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