She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
