I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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