She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
