Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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