Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize