you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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