he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
