You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
