you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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