Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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