its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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