She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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