she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize