I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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