I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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